The pain
by Rockergirluntil4ever
Summary: NO one understood, no one knew what it felt like to loose the only thing you love in your eniter life. The pain of living every day knowing that you will never be able to touch, or love again. I thought i was the only one who felt this....i gusse not...


**Hello everyone! I just want to ask your opinion on something, I want to write a story but it's not the happiest story in the world! I want to give you my idea on the story and you guys tell me if you think I should write it or not. It would be very sad. No joke this would be one of the saddest stories I have ever written in my life! So I will give you guys a short look at the story and you guys tell me if you think people would read it and review. It would be a very short story and it would be sort of a mystery. It would only contain 4 or 5 chapters, but the chapters would be very long. This is the first chapter. Please review and tell me if you guys want more!**

"What's your name?"

I blinked twice then bit my bottom lip.

"My name is Bella Swan"

The guy looked at me confused then looked down at the clipboard.

"It says here that your name is Bella Cullen"

I bit my lip even harder and I felt the tears coming. I could taste the blood of innocence rising on my tong.

"Please don't say that name ever again"

The man licked his lips and then moved his fingers up to his chin.

"So Bella, why are you here. What's going on? Can you tell me why exactly you decided to overdose on such a heavy medication? Bella you were very close to death."

I blinked away a few tears remembering the horrible night I decided to sit on my bathroom floor and swallow a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I wish they had killed me. I wanted death more than anything I just wanted to experience the feeling of never waking up.

I looked at this man. I had never meet him in my life, yet my parents thought that by making me talk to him all my pain would go away. They would never know. They would never understand how much hurt was bundled up inside of me.

"You think that if I tell you things will get better?"

The man looked down at the floor then back up at me.

"No, things won't get better right away but it might help."

I shook my head rapidly and let the tears flow down my face. No one understood no one knew the pain.

"Nothing will help. The only thing that will help is to bring them back. Can you bring them back?"

The man shook his head with a straight face.

"I can not bring them back Bella. But I can help release the pain."

I closed my eyes and his face was the only thing I saw. I open them again in fright. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't want to see him. No not innless I could touch him and feel his love once again.

"NO! It won't help! You can't help me! I don't want to be here! I want to be with them!"

The man took a deep breathe then looked at me again.

"Let's start from the begging Bella. From the moment you meet them"

I hadn't brought back good memories in a long time. I didn't want to it made things worse.

"I can't I wont! I don't want to! Can't you just leave me alone?"

The doctor shook his head and put his hand through his hair. It reminded me of the way Edward use to put his hand through his hair. More tears come flooding down my face.

"Bella lets just try one memory today ok? Then that's it I promise. One you tell me one memory I will let you go to sleep ok? "

I shook my head again. My heart was beating…faster….faster…

"I don't think I can"

The doctor looked down at his clip board and back up at me.

"Bella, I now you can, I have faith in you. We all do. Your sister, your parents, your child and I. We all have faith that you can get better"

I straighten my posture and closed my eyes. I bit my lip even harder. The hardest I could bite it that way the pain over rid the pain on the inside. I could talk to my daughter let alone look at her. Im such a coward such a fool.

"I was 13; it was my 13th birthday….. My mom decided to take me and my sister to Jacksonville, Florida for the week. I remember sitting on the beach and feeling the sun in my hair. I remember smiling and laughing at my sister.

One night we went tout to dinner and they were at the table across from us. He kept looking over at me. I knew he was my age. He was cute I couldn't help but look back at him. It was like I was supposed to look at him. I couldn't stop myself."

**FLASHBACK**

"That boy over there is so looking at you Bella!"

Rose said leaning over and whispering in my ear.

I giggled and nodded my head.

He had bronze hair, a mix of a dirty blonde and brown. It was all messy and gelled back a little. He looked tall, eve though he was sitting. He had a perfectly chizzled chin and he was gorgeous!

"I know isn't he cute?"

Rose shook her head and looked at the blonde.

"He is cutter!"

My mom smiled and looked at us. "My girls are already looking at boys?"

Rose laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Mom! Come on were teenagers what else are we suppose to do?"

My mom shoved ravioli in her mouth and laughed a little. I looked back over at he mysterious boy and noticed he walked out the door over by the hotel pool. He was still staring at me and smiling.

"Im going to go to the bathroom.." I said getting up and going out the door.

As I walked over I could feel butterflies in my stomach. I knew this was important. I could feel the earth literally spinning beneath my feet.

I walked out the door and saw him sitting in a little table by the pool. He smiled and pointed toward the seat.

"Im Edward" He said smiling toward me.

"Im Bella" I said in the sweetest voice I could muster up.

"Nice to meet you Bella, you live around here?"

I sat down in the seat and shook my head.

"I live in Forks Washington." I said tucking my dark brown hair behind my ear.

He blinked and for a spilt second I missed his sea green eyes.

"Hmm that's half way around the country" I nodded my head and rubbed my foot against the pavement.

"So Bella, Why are you here?"

I looked at him and for a second I was scared to answer. I didn't know this boy. He could rape me for all I knew. But I felt safe around him for some reason. I felt…..at home.

"Its my birthday, well tomorrow is my birthday and my mom surprised my sister and I with a vacation" he smiled and nodded his head.

"Nice vacation sure beats rainy Forks" I laughed and nodded. I couldn't believe that I Bella Swan was talking to this….unbelievable hot guy that I had just met less them a minute ago.

"What about you?" I asked with a slight grin on my face.

"What about me what?" He asked flashing a killing smile.

"Well why are you here?"

His smile grew wider.

"Well if you must know. My farther is a doctor and he had a seminar here this week. Our family decided to join him"

I smiled. He seemed like a well rounded boy. He had to be my age maybe a year or so older.

"Would you like to dance Bella?"

I blushed then shook my head.

"I can't dance. Last time I tried I nearly broke a leg"

He laughed at my stupid joke and took my hand. We got up and he led me over to a gazebo.

"I can always make you dance.."

I looked at him confused and then he lifted me up and placed both my feet firmly on his feet. Then we started swaying to the music. Little by little I had totally forgot…where I was…why I was there…who I was…even how to breathe.

"You're dancing"

I smiled and blushed again. How did he do that? He barley knew me yet he was the only one who get a full smile on my mouth and turn my face bright red.

"Im dancing.."

My lips froze and I opened my eyes. The doctor was starring at me and I could swear I could see little tears in his eyes.

"So that was the first time you meet him."

I nodded my head

"Yes" I answered simply almost afraid to say more.

"What about the rest of his family?" I closed my eyes again and bit my lip. Then the door buzzed.

"Mr. Brendan, Its time for Bella to get ready for bed." I thanked god for having mercy on me. I don't think I could take anymore of this.

"Okay Bella we will finish this tomorrow."

I nodded my head and let the nurse take me back to my room. As I put on my night gown and laid in my bed. I could still hear him.

" I can always make you sleep…."

And then he sang me my lullaby.

**Ok so if you don't understand it. Bella went through something traumatic and she is in a mental hospital. She is seeing a therapist and he is trying to help her re live the past that way she can let go of her past and live the future. If you guys think you know what happens please tell me if you don't like it. If you want more you know what to do ******


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